“Can you read the tombstone, then?  What does it say?  I forgot my glasses and can’t see a blasted thing!”

Lori crouched down beside the ancient  broken tombstone to get a better look.  “It’s no use,” she said. ” The letters are too far gone.”  She removed her glove and ran her hand over the stone.  “It’s a shame.”

She quickly looked up into John’s face then and she could see by the look in his eyes, he had smelled it too.

“Narcissus” they said in unison.  But this was December and already there was a fine powder of snow covering the ground.

“See, I told you I had found it!”  John said triumphantly.

Lori put her glove back on and removed her sunglasses.  “Okay, so what’s our next move?” She asked.

“It’s all right here” he said, patting the briefcase he held in his hand.  “Let’s go to the Moustache Cup and I’ll explain it all to you over a cup of coffee.”

He sat the case down on the table and carefully worked the combination.  She watched and admired the muscles in his face quiver like a well-run machine.  She approved of his new look.  He looked up and caught her staring.  Self-consciously he rubbed his bald head and his cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

Her blue eyes twinkled.  “Looks good on you.”

“And you look good as a redhead,” he blushed.  “Now, according to the legend, we will need all this here, “he said and he handed her a two-page  list.

Quietly and inconspicuously an older couple sat eating their dinner.  “I wish we could move closer.”

“No, it’s too risky, ” he said.

“But, I can’t hear the conversation.” She said.  “It’s wonderful to be back here.  I still had doubts about your legend then, you know.  I still can’t believe it was true!”

“And I can’t believe I fell for you, ” he said with a wink.
Written for Magpie Tales.


18 responses to “Narcissus

  1. Now this is a REALLY clever Magpie tale!

  2. Oooh – This such a beautifully crafted story where you completely tricked me and I loved it.

  3. A shining star of a story indeed! Glorious!

  4. Everyone else seems to know what is going on… I wait with excitement for the next episode!

  5. Title is perfect and the writing is quite good. Nice Mag. Love and Light, Sender

  6. A man and woman at a graveyard, a case of some sort, bald head and red hair and a budding relationship all combined to make an interesting teaser – definitely pulling the reader forward, keeping them wondering where this is going. I agree with the above comment – good choice of title. Nice Magpie!

  7. Excellent take on the prompt, using the stone to lead into a mystery.

  8. Charming story. Nice details!

  9. great story- more please….and thanks for your nice comments on my blog.

  10. A nice edge to this week’s ‘pie. I enjoyed it!

  11. Nice – makes me want to read more!

  12. Good writing! Nice magpie. The story is enticing.

  13. Interesting!.You are creative

  14. Nice write… intriguing piece, taunting the reader to follow where you lead.

  15. aww…what a beautiful end…very nice vignette…

  16. You completely put me in the moment…it was as if I was sitting right there as he was opening the briefcase

  17. Really well written and I would have loved to have read more!
    oh and… ‘the little mouse’ …. couldn’t resist :o) hehe

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