Moonlit Night

Moonlit night, perfumed air
Count the beat and stop the press
Gaze up yonder on the stair
Fair young maiden in red dress
Why for does she tarry there?
For to give them time to stare
Eyes of ebony and ravened hair
The beauty of the ball tonight
Hearts ablaze and burning bright
Not for wallflower dressed in white
Servant girl and poor as mice
Both had dreams of sugar and spice
One half courted, the other thrice
Red’s a royal, regal hue
Once the white – a color too
When virtue’s taken, color’s gone
Clock keeps ticking all night long
The perp with beauty on his arm
Monster hides behind his charm
Rage emerges from within
There’ll be no condoning sin
White determined to make right
Plunged in him deep that night
Fury-tipped blade, an unfair fight
Blood drenched beauty screams with fright
Forever White flees from their sight
To wee bastard sleeping tight
Saves the beauty a similar plight
Mission accomplished!

Written for Writer’s Island Prompt #26 for 2010: Emerge
Also submitted at #103: Monday Poetry Train Revisited, Theme Thursday, and Poetry Potluck.


24 responses to “Moonlit Night

  1. An interesting, well written poem, in which the devil got his due! I loved the ending: “Mission accomplished!” Indeed.

  2. Finished! The whole tale is finished! I loved how you rhymed, too. Great story.

  3. Interesting story poem. Almost a fairytale quality about it and the rhyming is well done,


  4. vengefully violent – the rhyme diffuses the righteous brutality of the piece… darkly engaging…


  5. I agree with everyone here. This is an interesting write. And there is something about it that I can’t quite place (even after reading it three times) that speaks to the reader in an almost primal way. Hope that makes sense to you. I’m having a day! Love and Light, Sender

  6. so well done.
    love the ending.

  7. I just liked the feel of this…but I still wonder. Did good or evil win?

    Rage emerges from within
    He’ll not get away with sin
    White determined to make right

    Thank you. I appreciated your comment on my blog.


    • Good question. Evil, of course. Even though we could argue that “White” had “just cause” it was still wrong. In her eyes, she made things “right”. However, it was never her job to do so.

  8. i would say a blend of old and contemporary with the complement of rhyme …you make it appear so easy… brings a wonderful story to our table to feast upon…ah revenge and passion, so full of life and sorrow… dripping gray

  9. This captures the sense of an old ballad very effectively, both in respect of content and form. Concerning form, the maintenance of the trochaic quatrameter throughout works really well and the (somewhat unorthodox!) rhyme scheme underpins the ballad form and makes for a compelling read.

  10. whew. sounds like white saved the day on that one…at least for the lady…nice theme thursday.

  11. Snow White and Rose Red!

  12. well done… love it!

  13. “The monster hides behind his charm, rage emerges within…” I liked it so much. You have conjured up a nice hallow’s eve image to share… thanks.

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  14. A really amazing poem..winning/losing..the eternal contest!

  15. Thanks for linking,
    fantastic piece.
    Happy November,

  16. Wow, such a story told…great job, magically scary!

  17. one half courted the other thrice- thats nice!

  18. I enjoyed the rhythmn you built up here and the images you created. A good read!

  19. What a tale! Nice Potluck entry.

  20. This is great storytelling.

  21. Please help giving (belated) birthday wishes to 3 or 4 fellow poets:

    Thanks a lot for the support.
    Happy November!
    Your presence adds light to our space, keep shining!

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